Cowboys owner Jerry Jones recounts Green Bay bare-butt story that left cringeworthy image in his mind

The Dallas Cowboys are visiting the Green Bay Packers on Sunday night and that has awoken a memory for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones that had little to do with football, but a lot to do with a big moon rising near Lambeau Field.

And by moon, we don’t mean the natural satellite.

We’re talking about a butt — and a “hefty” one at that, to hear Jones tell it – going full monty.

PACKERS TIGHT END TUCKER KRAFT HEARS BOOS FROM LAMBEAU FIELD FANS AND OFFERS TONE DEAF RESPONSE

The subject came up during Jones’ regularly scheduled Tuesday appearance on 105.3 The Fan in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex.

And, here’s a warning: Turn off your imagination now because the recounting of this story will leave a visual one might not want in one’s head.

“One of my greatest memories, and this is not the area you’re talking about, was after the game against Green Bay, maybe 25 years ago,” Jones shared. “All of my grandchildren were very small, four or five years old, and I had a car full of them.”

We’re not off the rails yet but a trip to Uranus is about to begin…

“We’d been up to watch Green Bay in Green Bay,” Jones continued. “It was so cold, and as we left the stadium, we won, as we left the stadium, we were in a long, big car, and I saw this lady headed toward the car …

“… And she comes up beside the car running. She’s so upset as a Green Bay fan. And, she was, uh, pretty, hefty.”

Picturing this yet?

Well, as Dak Prescott says, here we go …

“And she turns around and pulls it all down and just plants it right up against the window,” Jones said.

“Everybody inside was in horror and couldn’t believe it. And then her skin, her skin stuck to the window, it was so cold. And when she pulled away, there was just a big print.”

This, ladies and gentlemen, is definitely a rich person problem because most fans don’t take a limousine ride to a game. But it resonates because, yes, some people attending NFL games have been known to moon the opposing team buses or other fans before and after games.

ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!

Scarred? So was Jones.

“Sitting there, I was like, oh no,” he said. “There were about 10 or 11 of us in the car, and we can still see it today.”

The image lives with Jones and now that he’s shared it, what are the chances some intrepid Green Bay fans will go for a repeat on Sunday night?

FOLLOW ARMANDO SALGUERO ON X: @ARMANDOSALGUERO